Author name: Mogotsi Monnaatlala

We have always been told that we humans are 3 part beings, that we have a Soul, Body, and mind- wrong. We have often been told that our Soul is inside our body-Wrong. And because we as humans find ourselves in this physical world, use our 5 senses with our brains to perceive and process things, we have erroneously assumed that, that is all there is to us- mother of all errors.  The real truth is that we do not have souls. We ARE SOULS incarnated in human bodies. Big big difference and big change in perspective, if you apply your mind to it. We as souls are not just inside our bodies, but our bodies are inside us. We are not limited to our bodies. We are these expansive, larger-than-life, energetic beings who are not bound by this space-time reality. 😱😱Shocker, right? #Topic for another day.😉   This then begs the question, what is a ‘Soul’ and what does it mean to BE a soul?   Our Soul or Higher Self is the part of us that is unseen with the naked eye, a part of us that comes from, is an extension of, and is infinitely connected to the Divine Being, to God, to Source Energy, or the Universe. It has been said that ‘we are sons & daughters of God’, well, that is not far from the truth, because we came from and are ‘individuations’ of this Infinite Divine Intelligence. This essentially means we as souls are not separate from God, we are simply an extension of it. It also means we cannot separate ourselves from deity, even if we wanted to. We may think, feel, or believe that we are, but we are not, and we can never be separate. We have no choice about this one. When I first learnt this, my whole world and perspective about ‘WHO I TRULY AM’ completely changed. You see, I used to feel myself as separate and disconnected from this infinite intelligence. I thought I was separate from God and from All That Is. I, therefore, operated from a very limited perspective, as most of us humans do.   So, since our Soul (using the analogy of the 3-part beings) is the part of us that is connected to Divine Intelligence and is an extension of it, it therefore follows that our Soul knows everything, and I mean eeeerrrrrthing there is to know about us. E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. Your soul knows the real reasons it incarnated to the earth, your soul knows your passions, your gifts, your potential, your desires, your ‘problems’, and their solutions. And because the soul knows everything there is to know about you, it holds answers to ALL the questions you have about your existence. One begs the question then…🤔🤔If our Soul knows everything, why is it that most human beings feel a sense of disconnect, feel lost, feel like they have no sense of direction in as far as their existence and purpose are concerned? Why are we constantly feeling like life is a hustle, like we struggle more than we thrive, if indeed we are connected to this infinite intelligence? You know the answer. Because most Humans do not pay attention to their souls, that’s right. We are conditioned to operate from a place of mind and body in this 3D reality. We are conditioned to pay attention to only things that we can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste. Just because we cannot perceive our soul with our 5 senses, we have assumed that it either does not exist or that it is less important. That is the mother of all errors that has cost humanity a great deal.   Why? Why do we pursue only physicality and less spirituality, if indeed we are divine souls? Again, because we have been conditioned to. We have been programmed to believe certain myths and untruths about the way things are in as far as divinity and our relationship to it is concerned. My relationship with God changed many years ago after I read a book by Neale Donald Walsch called ‘Conversations With God’. In this book, Neale has these interesting conversations with God, where a lot of these myths are demystified. The book will truly open your heart and draw you much closer to God. You will feel a great sense of connection, not fear, and a great sense of relief, especially regarding our relationship to deity and the reasons we were created. For example, I used to believe that to know God, I must live a puritan-like lifestyle, a life in which one follows strict moral rules. I believed that pleasure is wrong and in order to prove my worthiness to God I had to stay away from it. I could not live a fun-filled life and hang around with God. These two to me were mutually exclusive. I believed that to know God is to deny myself a lot of things, because I thought that’s what Deity required of humanity. Based on this premise, I then concluded that because my soul is the divine aspect of me, it means my soul wants things other than the things I want for myself in the here and now. I thought that my soul wants only woo woo out there stuff that has no bearing on how I wanted to live my life in this moment.   Oh dear, was I wrong!   Then I learnt that if your soul did not want to experience physicality in its full glory, it would have remained in the spirit world, period. Because we do have that option by the way, just like other divine beings of love & light exist outside physicality, like angels, spirit guides, and other extraterrestrial beings existing on other planets. The truth is that God created physicality/the earth so that we may fully live, express, and experience everything and every part of ourselves we want to. Your soul desires to experience everything you want to experience: bliss, fun, wealth,

Besides journaling, I had also begun to firm up my meditation practice through guided and self-meditations. Meditation is a practice that is widely used for different purposes, like releasing stress, relaxation, and physical and emotional healing. In spirituality, meditation is used for similar purposes but also to connect with one’s divinity. I use meditation for those various reasons, but more specifically to quiet the clutter in my mind to a point of eliminating thoughts so that I can begin to perceive the divine. My meditation practice has since evolved to a place I never imagined when I first started. If I go a day without meditating, I feel out of balance, disconnected, and out of alignment. I will discuss this and other topics in more detail later as soon as I can move past the introductory part of this journal, 😁😁😁. As I mentioned in my previous post, information and answers started flowing into my existence in response to the questions I was asking, in a way I did not anticipate, in both simple and complex ways. For instance, I would begin to meet new spiritual teachers, healers, coaches, and mentors online, without having made any efforts to search for them. It’s like they were drawn to me in a way, as an energetic response to the request I made to the universe. They each shared messages and teachings that resonated with me. Even though some of the teachings and concepts were wildly new to me, my heart was drawn to them because they resonated deeply with my soul. Some answers I received directly from Source, through my intuition and inner voice, as these were the only channels that were open for me then. Others came in more unique and unexpected ways like how I would ponder over a question, to soon get an answer through something someone randomly said, or something I saw on a billboard whilst driving, or a chance event of me tuning into a radio station and a song comes on that speaks the exact words I needed to hear at that very moment, and my heart pauses for a second in disbelief. Anyway, what surprised me though, is the speed at which these answers came or the speed at which I was led to places I needed to go to find the answers. At that time, I did not know why but now I realise its because I had energetically began to open myself up for these messages to be channelled through to me and then little synchronicities began to happen. As things progressed, it became apparent that some of the answers I looked for, especially the complex ones, had no predetermined limit or boundaries. The answers were journeys on themselves. For example, if I had questions about my purpose and why I came, I was taken on a little journey to discover that answer. If I wanted answers about my past or present unpleasant situations, it would not be a simple yes or no answer, I would be guided to that answer through a process of self-discovery so profound that nothing in my bones would negate that experience. But for the most part, I was taught a lot of things that I had never in my wildest dreams imagined could come into my awareness. I learnt that our true nature as human beings is that we are essentially energy. We are spiritual beings incarnated temporarily in human bodies, living a temporary life. We are not just our minds and bodies. When it comes to the affairs of our lives and how we show up, our energy is everything. We call things, attract and manifest things into our existence through energy. Therefore, if we want to change or heal anything permanently in our lives, we need to address that challenge at a deep energetic level, or otherwise any change we try to effect is superficial and the results are also just skin deep. I learnt a lot of things that kept me busy. The learnings were also coupled with a lot of healing at the same time, which allowed me to continuously shred what is inauthentic within me, to let go, and to embrace a new way of being and living. For example, one of my coaches uses a transformation method focused on using the power of the mind to not only consciously create the life you want but to heal deep emotional and mental scars as well. She uses hypnosis to delve into the subconscious mind, where all the past trauma, pain, and limiting beliefs are stored. The point is to bring them to the surface, release, and heal. I would be hypnotised by her every day of the week for like 8 weeks or so & a lot of stuff came up that needed to be addressed. Many other teachers also took me through a similar process, which combines teaching and spiritual healing. But why healing? I learnt that the reason why we find ourselves in very difficult situations, which make us feel stuck, is because of not only the way we perceive ourselves but also the way we perceive the world and the environment around us. And the way we perceive ourselves and our environment is usually a result of our childhood programming, or the thoughts,  beliefs, and habits we adopted from, or were taught to us by those who raised us, including the society around us; religion, tradition, cultural beliefs, norms, etc. Depending on each individual and their journey, these deeply ingrained thoughts, personal beliefs, perspectives, habits, and personas shape the way we see the world, and for the majority of people, that’s where the core cause of problems emanates: the programming of the subconscious mind. The painful part is that most people are not consciously aware of their thinking habits and how their personal experiences are a direct result of the way they think, let alone the fact that, for the most part, these thoughts are not even their

The 2018 festive season was upon us. I resolved to go with the flow of the festivities, rest, unwind, and take it easy. I would commence my quest at the beginning of the year 2019. I was not quite sure how the process was going to unfold, but I was determined to do everything in my power and knowledge to connect with my soul and with Deity. I believed without a shadow of doubt that the answers and solutions to my predicament lay with my Soul or what others call the Higher Self, and of course with God. I use the word ‘God’ here because that’s how I traditionally grew up to describe the Divine. But whether you call it God, Universe, Universal Intelligence, Creator, Universal Energy, Supreme Being, Allah, Jehova, Heavenly Father, or whatever resonates with you, the truth is that all those words point to the same powerful transcendental Being or energy that creates, and permeates all things, is omnipresent and omniscient. It all depends on how you, as an individual, were cultured to believe. I do not have a challenge with the use of any of those words now, even though I do have my personal preferences. I have to mention this here because I know that some people, once you start using words like ‘Universe’ in reference to deity, they block themselves completely from even listening to what you have to say, and I understand that completely. Anyway, in this quest, my intention was to avail myself to learning new things and new ways of being but to also question a lot of things that I thought needed to be clarified. I was also going to keep an open mind, to allow myself to be guided and to receive any new insights. Reading spiritual books for inspiration had always done it for me. I love reading because it somehow exposes me to new ideas and diverse perspectives, just like travelling does. It is an eye-opener. I had previously read a lot of great books from great spiritual teachers and leaders such as Deepak Chopra (The Seat of the Soul; Seven Spiritual Laws of Success etc), Neal Donald Walsch (Coversations with God Trilogy; Communion with God; Home with God etc), Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now; A New Earth etc), Rhonda Byrne( The Secret),  and many many more teachers whose teachings and writings had not only resonated with me but impacted my being immensely. I had a lot of these in my library for reference if I wanted to. Journaling and writing letters to God were also one of the ways I had used to connect, even simple prayer, and meditation. In January 2019, I started reading a book by Robin Sharma titled ‘The 5 am Club: Own Your Morning. Elevate Your Life’. It is an amazing book in which Robin teaches the importance of establishing a daily morning and evening routine aimed at reflection, growth, learning, and establishing a connection with your higher self. This book has a practical application with which Sharma takes you through a 66-day challenge of rising at 5 am and spending an hour in reflection, exercise, guided meditations, and application of various techniques. Anyway, the point is that I took up the challenge of rising early morning. If you are not used to waking up at 5 am every single day of the week, this would be a challenge, but I was unwavering in my resolve to find answers. Besides, there was not much time between my 8-5 job to doing this. I would write letters to God in my journal, most of which were rantings of how ‘my life wasn’t working, how God had some explaining to do with regards to some painful past experiences in my childhood and what he was going to do with some of the mess that had become my life, if he cared at all about my well being. After all, I did not create myself and bring myself into this world, blah blah blah. Ha ha ha ha…These days, I laugh when I look at some of my early 2019 journal entries, but this was my mindset then. I poured my heart and soul into the journals. My entries were as raw as they came, and I did not mince words. In the process, there was a lot of crying, questioning, and demands for answers. I kept at it for days and nights. The most heartfelt questions I asked had to do with my purpose, why, and for what I had come here on earth to be or do. Because I felt like whatever it was, my life at the time was in complete tangent with that purpose.  I had heard many spiritual teachers talk about how every single person alive today has a reason and a purpose they came to fulfil on earth, and that every single one of us has a God-given gift or set of gifts that they’re meant to use to fulfil that purpose, that our lives and existence are not some random chance event of a sperm meeting an egg. By the way, talking about gifts, from where I was standing, God must’ve forgotten to give me one of those. For the life of me, I had never been able to figure that one out. I learnt from the late Pastor Miles Munroe that ” A GIFT IS AN INHERENT CAPACITY TO FULFILL A FUNCTION, AND THE GIFT THAT YOU CARRY IN YOU IS TO FULFIL A NEED IN CREATION”. He also says a gift can never be learnt, it can only be refined because you already have it in you. It comes naturally. It is innate, it is built into you by the creator. It is part of your DNA, so to speak, and you use it or live it with passion. It excites you, it lifts you, and working with your gifts and passions is like play, not struggle or hassle. It is something you do

At the onset of my 40th birthday, around November 2018, I quietly evaluated my life. I considered where I was at, what I had been up to in the years leading up to this big milestone, and what changes needed to be made. It had become a norm of mine to quietly reflect at each birthday, even for a few minutes, just to gauge things. However, at this particular point in time, the need to evaluate came as a matter of ‘urgency’ and seemed more necessary than ever before. I was edgy, and I was in pain.  For some time now, I had known that something in my life was amiss. I had observed in the previous years how the light of my soul seemed to be dwindling year after year, month after month, and day after day, and how I had brushed it off as ‘ just life’s challenges’ until now. What was wrong? I mean, what was really wrong?  Because, from the external look of things, things were indeed ‘normal’. It seemed from the outside that I was doing more than just fine, yet inside I felt like my soul was seriously crushed, even though I appeared to be doing better than what most people would call average. I was working as a senior manager at a big corporation, earning a fairly good salary to pay my bills and support my family. I was living an upper-middle-class lifestyle. One could argue that I was indeed doing more than okay from the outside perspective, yet here I was feeling like my life had become somewhat meaningless, somewhat stale, redundant, devoid of growth & excitement. I was stuck in some endless life-zapping routine. I must say that this was clearly not a sudden feeling or observation. I had begun feeling like this a few years before, albeit on a lighter scale, but ignored it because I had hoped that things would get better as time passed. It is in our nature as humans to always hope things will get better with time. So, I had dismissively assumed that everything that was causing me pain in my life was external circumstances & situations, which, if resolved, my life would magically feel better. Well, time passed, months & weeks went by & things got worse & worse. The intensity of the pain I felt compounded with each day that passed. As I was evaluating my life and what had become of it over the years, I asked myself How did my life become so meaningless? How did I allow myself to get so stuck in the same rut and routine over & over & over again? Previously, in my younger years, I was always full of hope, anticipation, and I felt like I was growing and learning. I was always looking forward to something great happening in my life. But now I had begun to feel such disgruntlement at life because I felt like up to this point in my life, I had done everything I had been taught or advised to do. In fact, at a macro level I had done everything to live the best life; I had gone to school & completed my degree with flying colors; I had gotten a steady job & worked my way up the corporate ladder & earned a good living; I had met the love of my life married him and had two amazing girls; I was living in a beautiful home at a decent suburb & was driving a pretty decent car; I could afford to go for a drink with my girls at a decent restaurant any day of the week or whenever I wanted and hey…. I mean, at a macro level, I should be happy, right? Because this was the promise: Go to school, get good grades, get a job, find a husband, make two babies & live happily ever after. Does that sound familiar to you? Yet here I was, miserable & desperate as hell. But the intensity of this pain did not present itself as immensely in other areas of my life as it did in my job. At this point in my life, I hated my job so much so that waking up every day to go to that job was literally killing me. How it turned out that I had not developed HBP or some kind of psychosis is only grace. It was not so much the actual job itself that I disliked per se but the toxicity of the environment which I felt was literally sucking the life out of me. Anyway, of course, I had considered getting another job at some point, but it felt almost improbable because I had been in that job for many years, and what I did was what I knew how to do for years. So, I somewhat felt like my chances were slim to none & changing careers did not feel appealing either. Why? Because ultimately it was not about the job. You will come to know why I say that later.😊 At first, it did feel like my work environment was the core cause of the pain I felt. I felt uninspired by it, uninspired by my leaders, and uninspired by what the conditions had evolved into over the years. Over time, it took a huge amount of energy for me to get up and go to that job. Most days, I would cry myself to a pulp because I felt I did not have any other options. I felt stuck because ‘this 8-5 was the only way I had known how to exist’ and for the most part, I had defined myself by it. I sat there thinking about my options, and quite honestly, I didn’t see any other possibility to get myself out of the rut. I was not about to just quit my job because I had financial commitments; a mortgage, bills, private school tuitions etc. And so in my hopelessness &